1.09.2012

DARE




I was trying to start a new writing for a really long time, one year actually.
I didn't know where to start.
Now I know.

It was almost two years ago. I had arranged to meet at my cousins house for dinner that night. They had prepared a nice meal for me. I had just started to work crazy hours at a production company in the post-production department. That afternoon, we were waiting for an approval about an advert from an advertising company as usual. I told my boss that I arranged to meet with my cousin and that I had been working until 1am for two nights in a row. I thought: ''It should not be a problem, how longer was he planning to keep me there?'' Turned out much more! I had weeks when I did not have any day off, nights that I did not return home. That night I went to my cousins despite of the threat of my boss. Through thirty minutes of ride I cried shouting: ''I can't stand this.'' It wasn't a cry of sadness, I was feeling desperate, trying to find a way out.

My cousin said something to me that night that I have been thinking about since then: ''Try to look at this job as a game.'' I didn't understand the concept of playing games in any manner. I did not play computer games, I did not go out much to have fun (I really had no time) and I looked at everything very seriously cause I thought it had to be that way.

Now there is a long story where I struggled really hard to change that scene in my life.
The scene where I go to a work that I simply don't belong to.
That way was painful. Someone who have been or who is there knows it well.
And there is no game in that scene because the player is not you.   
Now I am the player and I am having fun, I am happy.
It does not mean that I am not challenged, I am highly challenged in many ways that make me better, make me feel much more fulfilled.
So now I understand what playing games mean!
And my playground is anywhere that I am.

LOVE.




2 yorum:

Azra dedi ki...

Lets play together ;) gonna be awesome!

nathalie dedi ki...

Of course!
I am looking forward to.